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Instruction Manuals for Cats

SPIKE & BOO Are Pleased to Present For The Edification of Felines Everywhere Instruction Manuals for Cats

Basic Rules for Cats Who Have A House To Run

Chairs & Rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. . .

Hampering: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. . .

Toys: Any small item is a potential toy. If a human tries to confiscate it, this means that it is a Good Toy. . .

Humans: Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. . .

Other guidelines from this manual include instructions on Doors, Bathrooms, Walking, Bedtime, Play, Paper Bags, Food, Sleeping, and Scratching Posts.

A Cat's Guide To Human Beings by John Scalzi (?)

Why Do We Need Humans? They have opposable thumbs. . .

Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?

Punishing Your Human: Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude. . .

Other informative sections of this manual include How Long Should You Keep Your Human? and How And When to Get Your Human's Attention.

We would like to thank Douglas Clark and Roger Collett for the pointers to these helpful and edifying sites. In their honor (they are both poets), an instruction manual for cats in verse (author unknown): 

Friendship

Some of you will have noticed a lack of substantive content here for the last week or so.  I've had company, and now must recover from the subsequent (unregretted) fatigue.  This visitor is a friend "from before" -- before I was ill, the "I used to . . . " times:  I used to be active, busy, career-focussed, high-energy; I used to swim a mile a day; I used to etc. . .

I am learning to leave this behind; I am learning to be in today.  And this visit helped -- one of those friendships that, after years of separation, picks up as if we had lunch last week.  One of those friendships that reminds me there is continuity, even through great change. 

Carnival of Cats

Carnival of the Cats is up, and I have a favorite:  To The Person Who Found My Camera.  This is my favorite even though it has no pictures (thankfully.)  You'll have to read it to discover why gratitude for no photos is appropriate in this case. 

Visit the others, too -- they have lots of pictures. 

Snapshot 28 July 02004

hugging goodby --
       your bony
       spine

    

Good Morning

Company. Busy. Later.

Casualty

 

Last night, hard rain, wind, big thunder. 

DNC Bloggers

I see that one of our Montana Bloggers, Not Geniuses, is listed on the DNC Daily Dispatches blog sidebar, under "Readme"!  A few of my other daily reads are there, too:  Body & Soul, Crooked Timber, and Talking Points Memo (Josh Marshall).

I guess this means I'll be well-informed.  Except that I notice that nearly all of these bloggers are male.  I'll bet they are mostly white as well, though it's hard to tell on the web. I plan to take some time this evening to go through the whole list; hopefully I am mistaken.

But I doubt it. 

Diploma

I'm trying to decide if I find this amusing. Or not.

Teeth

Has anyone else noticed that television political pundits are suffering some weird epidemic that makes their teeth whiter, and whiter, and whiter?

One can hardly see their faces anymore, for the glare.

Project Blog

Project Blog is here because we care and because we want to make a difference. On July 24th, bloggers from all around the world will be updating their own blog every 30 minutes for 24 solid hours all in the name of each blogger's favorite charity.

Two of my regular reads, Pushing An Elephant Up The Stairs (for The Depression Alliance) and Chasing Daisy (for MacMillan Cancer Relief) are participating in this blog-a-thon.  A complete list of participating bloggers and the charities they are supporting can be found here.   

The blogging has begun.  I have great admiration for these folks' commitment and stamina.  Find one you like and be a sponsor if you can.