Men

Men and the Lack-of-Communication Theory

Very entertaining piece at NewWest|Missoula.

One of my ex's was a member of a sensitive-new-age-mens' group. After he had been going to meetings for several months, I asked (it had slipped my mind) what SNAMan 1's wife's name was.

Ex didn't know.

I asked if he knew the names of any of the other women.

He didn't.

Comments

[Ken]

OK, We are a different species.

Perhaps not knowing was actually avoidance behavior?

Being SNAG, they were afraid of being attracted, distracted, from their SNAG mission!

Ah, too many things to speculate about!

[SB]

He insisted that they did talk about their relationships; they just never said their partners' names.

my wife

the wife

she

my partner

whatever

I am reluctant to speculate ...

But this is a practice completely unlike any that women engage in. I assure you.

[Ken]

I've noticed this tendency toward objectification -- speaking in the classificatory instead of personalizing -- among other men.

And, yes it is a bit odd to me as well. It is not “the wife” or the “girl friend” that does something. It is Sharon, or Betty or Cindylu. It is the mystery that is the other, especially the intimate other.

However, I don't seem to notice it among men in the arts where the particular is important.