Ask the Agony Cats

Dear AgonyCats:

I am a 14 year old cat that lives with two small dogs.  I get along fine with them and we even all sleep on our person's bed together.  My question is, why do these canines sniff under my tail whenever they get a chance?  I would never do that to them or any other animal.  It seems like an invasion of my privacy, as well as being rude and annoying.  What advice can you give me? 

Sincerely,

~ "Sitting Down"

Spike says:

Dear Sitting Down:

These dogs are sniffing your butt because you've confused them. They expect cats to run; you aren't running. Remember, dogs are rather stupid, and they don't see well, so they rely overmuch on their sense of smell. Also, they are quite capable of forgetting what you smelled like last time.

If you aren't a cat, they ask themselves, then what are you? And they proceed to try to find out, in their own rude and clumsy way. Dogs just are rude and clumsy, don't you think?

They never clean up after themselves -- or even clean themselves, come to think of it. They're loud and obnoxious, and they run in packs. Privacy? Hah! 

Next time this happens, remember that you are a Cat. Use your claws. That's what they're for.

I mean, really.

What do you expect?

 

Boo says:

Dear Sitting Down:

They are just admiring your superior scent. Don't let it bother you.

Actually, dogs can come in handy sometimes. For example, if you have your own dogs, they can protect you from other dogs, who might not appreciate your unique feline characteristics. No need to ruffle your own fur when you have friendly canines to do it for you.

Also, you've already discovered that they can warm up a cold night. Sometimes they bring home interesting scraps of food (though they are not very fastidious; you must use caution about what you sample.)

It could be worse.

They could be chasing you.

Want more critters? Try:

• The Carnival of the Cats at TBIFOC
• On Sunday, the new carnival at Mind Of Mog
• Weekend Cat Blogging at What Did You Eat
• Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos at Astrid & Kashim and Othello at The Catboys Realm
• & Friday Ark at Modulator

This is the second edition of Ask the AgonyCats; the first, which deals with a feline- human relationship problem, is here. "Sitting Down" may think she's anonymous, but we happen to know that she is really Dulce, who lives with Niki and Leo and Gus:

We told you that there were exceptions to the anonymity guarantee... *

Ask the AgonyCats will appear at unpredictable, feline intervals, depending on cat moods and the mailbox. If you would like to solicit advice, send an email to: askthecats AT sbpoet DOT com. Boo and/or Spike will be happy to respond. Maybe.

Both AgonyCats have a great deal of experience in inter-species relationships, though they bring somewhat different perspectives to the situations they encounter. Any problem submitted for their consideration is assured of the utmost discretion, expertise, and privacy.*  Feline correspondents will, of course, have priority.

*[Discretion and privacy are guaranteed, except that letters will be published for the readers of this blog; and the readers of any excerpts published outside of this blog; and any over-the-fence or under-the-sheets conversationalists. No solution is guaranteed to be effective under any circumstance, and AgonyCats accepts no liability for hurt feelings, inadvertent or deliberately inflicted wounds, or any other damages that may ensue from incorrectly or correctly implementing any suggestions herein. Whatsoever. Etcetera.]

Comments

[John B.]

I am greatly enjoying the AgonyCats posts. This one in particular gets at a crucial reason why I admire cats so much (though I certainly enjoy having my dog around): cats, being more solitary by nature, have a sense of propriety and modesty; dogs' pack-like sensibilities and "pre-verbal" memories of their litter-mates' butts being in their faces all the time prompts them to be a bit more, ahem, direct in their intelligence-gathering on the other members of the household. Not that I'm exactly refined myself, but that directness is a bit vulgar.

Maybe you've explained it elsewhere, so pardons in advance, but: why "AgonyCats"?

[SB]

Ah, my age is leaking.

From Wikipedia -- Agony Aunt:

An advice column is a column at a magazine or newspaper written by an advice columnist (colloquially known as an agony aunt, or agony uncle if the columnist is a male). The image presented was originally of an older woman providing comforting advice and maternal wisdom, hence the name "aunt".

[John B.]

Thank you. I hadn't heard that term before, but it matches up nicely with what (little) I know about the emergence of advice columns around the beginning of the 20th century.