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Save These Cats' Jobs!

If you think that only humans are suffering from the current economic woes, think again. Boo and Spike have been out of work for months. They are free- lancers, they get paid on commission. If no one asks for their assistance, they don't have any columns to write, and they don't get paid. No new toys, no catnip, no little meeces.

Look at these pitiful, distraught, unemployed critters:

    

Don't you want to help?

Ask the AgonyCats will appear at unpredictable, feline intervals, depending on cat moods and the mailbox. If you would like to solicit advice, comment or send an email to: askthecats AT sbpoet DOT com. Boo and/or Spike will be happy to respond. Maybe.

Both AgonyCats have a great deal of experience in inter-species relationships, though they bring somewhat different perspectives to the situations they encounter. Any problem submitted for their consideration is assured of the utmost discretion, expertise, and privacy.*  Feline correspondents will, of course, have priority.

*[Discretion and privacy are guaranteed, except that letters will be published for the readers of this blog; and the readers of any excerpts published outside of this blog; and any over-the-fence or under-the-sheets conversationalists. No solution is guaranteed to be effective under any circumstance, and AgonyCats accepts no liability for hurt feelings, inadvertent or deliberately inflicted wounds, or any other damages that may ensue from incorrectly or correctly implementing any suggestions herein. Whatsoever. Etcetera.]

We will be checking for your helpful, help-needed response.

If you'd like to research further on the challenges faced by contemporary felines, look here:

• The Carnival of the Cats, now at Missy, KC, Sol & Smokey; this Sunday it will be at Bad Kitty Cats
  
• Weekend Cat Blogging last weekend was at What did you Eat?; this weekend you will find it at Tuxedo Gang Hideout
• Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos is at Mind of Mog and will be at Pet's Garden Blog; and, last but certainly not least,
  
• Friday Ark#175 at Modulator

   

RELATED POSTS:

• Ask the Agony Cats 1
• Ask the Agony Cats 2
• Working Cats

Ask the Agony Cats

Dear AgonyCats:

I am a 14 year old cat that lives with two small dogs.  I get along fine with them and we even all sleep on our person's bed together.  My question is, why do these canines sniff under my tail whenever they get a chance?  I would never do that to them or any other animal.  It seems like an invasion of my privacy, as well as being rude and annoying.  What advice can you give me? 

Sincerely,

~ "Sitting Down"

Spike says:

Dear Sitting Down:

These dogs are sniffing your butt because you've confused them. They expect cats to run; you aren't running. Remember, dogs are rather stupid, and they don't see well, so they rely overmuch on their sense of smell. Also, they are quite capable of forgetting what you smelled like last time.

If you aren't a cat, they ask themselves, then what are you? And they proceed to try to find out, in their own rude and clumsy way. Dogs just are rude and clumsy, don't you think?

They never clean up after themselves -- or even clean themselves, come to think of it. They're loud and obnoxious, and they run in packs. Privacy? Hah! 

Next time this happens, remember that you are a Cat. Use your claws. That's what they're for.

I mean, really.

What do you expect?

 

Boo says:

Dear Sitting Down:

They are just admiring your superior scent. Don't let it bother you.

Actually, dogs can come in handy sometimes. For example, if you have your own dogs, they can protect you from other dogs, who might not appreciate your unique feline characteristics. No need to ruffle your own fur when you have friendly canines to do it for you.

Also, you've already discovered that they can warm up a cold night. Sometimes they bring home interesting scraps of food (though they are not very fastidious; you must use caution about what you sample.)

It could be worse.

They could be chasing you.