Watermark

Poetry, Palinized

Well. As this is, after all, a poetry blog, I'm required to post the latest thing -- right? Enjoy:

 

St. Patrick's Day

I am putting this little Irish critter dance beneath the cut, as it seems to slow loading on the front page.

Time

Perhaps time really is as simple as we used to think. The wise ones tell us that all we have is this moment; this moment is all there is.

Maybe time is a bubble. This moment (moment meaning: the smallest possible increment of time, so vastly small that our limited minds cannot encompass it) replaced the one before, and is replaced by the next. There is no extant past in which my grandmother still prunes her garden; our lost ones are truly lost.

I imagine a kettle on the boil, but there is just one bubble at a time. It bursts as the next rises to the surface. There is no past time to travel to. It's gone. All that is left is its consequences.

Each bubble creates infinite possible futures. The next bubble creates its own infinite possible futures; some are the same as the last, some are not. With each new bubble, an infinite number of possible futures vanishes, and others take their place. It might be, theoretically, possible to travel to the future, to some possible future, and even to arrive there.

But, unless our time traveler is very lucky, she may land in a possible future that then becomes impossible. It vanishes around her. It suddenly disappears (and she along with it) or perhaps it fades, slowly, in and out, as possibilities change with each new moment of time. Our imagined time traveler would have to be impossibly lucky to land in a future that endures.

This (this metaphysical nonsense) is what happens when one watches too much Doctor Who and Torchwood, which is -- don't you think? -- becoming very sexy, and very dark. Are these inextricably entwined?

No doubt a physicist or mathematician could easily disprove my amateur theory.

Still, I like it.

I am a Real Writer & I can prove it

 

Many thanks to Janni Lee Simner, via Erin Noteboom

But really important people have more than one certificate on their wall, and who is more important than the poet? So I worked this one up, too:

 

This idea was stolen from:

J. B. Handelsman, New Yorker, March 10, 1973

Via Ron Sipherd at The Well

Oh, you want one, too? Just in case, I made up a gender-inclusive blank one. Just add your name and the date, and there you are.*

*It has been brought to my attention that more detailed instructions might be useful. If you are not a member of flickr, you can't download photos, so first, join flickr -- it's free, and you can always unjoin if you want. Then click here; above the image you'll see ALL SIZES -- click that; then click and download the size you want.

You can then use any photo editing program to add your name and date -- now that you have a flickr account, you could upload it into your own account and use Picnik to do this; or print out a copy and do it by hand.

If all this is too much for you, just email me and I'll send you the image.

Narcissistic Playtime

I've been working on this post for several days, and this morning I found Lorelle's Blog Challenge: Intelligent Online Toys and Play Things, which inspired me to get back to it.

Some of you have noticed, and commented on, the new portrait on the sidebar. This is a Uvatar from BeFunky.com:

You upload a photo, and they have an artist do a sketch. I would say, based on this, that they make an attempt to flatter. When I signed up, it was free, but now it costs $5 to get one done.

You can play with it quite a bit, with different backgrounds and 'outfits'. You can even pose with celebrities and aliens. Here's a glamorous version:

You can also make one with one program, then mess with it in another. Here is a Uvatar that I spherized with GIFWorks:

What you can't be is fat, even if you are fat; or old, even if you are old. That seems to be the case with most of these.

The Perception Laboratory’s Face Transformer is another, that I've linked to before, that works from a photo you upload. Here I am, in the styles of Modigliani, Botticelli, and Mucha:

      

I rather like these, especially the Botticelli.

Here are a few others, some of which you've seen here before:

       

These are from SimpsonizeMe, Portrait Illustration Maker, and DoppelMe, respectively. I have a flickr photoset with the results of toys like these -- check it out, be amused.

My favorite, from  BuiLD YouR WiLD SeLF:

 

RELATED POSTS:

• mEgo
• My WiLD SeLF
• Time Wasting
• Time Wasting (2)
• Blog Tools, Toys, Tips
• More amusement in the Frivolity category

My Lonely Christmas Tree

UPDATED December 30, 2007: Look at all those presents! Such generosity of feeling -- and I don't even know who some of you are. Thank you so much for making this fun!

I'll be taking this off the top of Watermark later today, and replacing it with Almost time for the New Year Haiku. I hope you have fun with that, too.
 

Look at that: no [lots of] presents [!!!]. I'm going to leave this at the top of Watermark for a few days, hoping for visits from virtual Santas.

You can be [are] my virtual Santa[s]!

[But you must have flash.]

My Own Private Conspiracy Theory

What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand the A-List blogging phenomena you need to realize that everything is controlled by a hostile group of extraterrestial and local aliens made up of portly female geniuses with help from extremist web nerds of various genders.

The conspiracy first started during the degenerate sixties in San Francisco. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the death of Princess Diana.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by their habit of smoking colored cigarillos.

They want to vigorously humiliate The Moral Majority and imprison resisters in a deserted mine shaft using sabotaged elevators.

In order to prepare for this, we all must get married to someone of the opposite sex. Since the media is controlled by crazed radical feminists we should get all our information from Karl Rove and Ron Paul.

What? You don't believe me?

Well, then -- go Make Your Own Conspiracy Theory. While you're at it, check out the Blog Herald Article Series on Conspiracy Theories and Blogs. And then, before you get all dismissive about bloggers indulging themselves in such trivialities, go read Anil Dash on Serious LOL's.

Save An Alien!

 

Have you saved an alien today?

I saved one a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I haven't checked on or visited it since. Typical imperialist.

Here it is, safely quartered at Antarctica [click for larger image]:

 

Its name is Za. The website tells me I should give it a human name, but this seems arrogant to me. Isn't its real, alien name good enough?

I used to help a friend with her Dell computer by making all the calls to Dell support, where young men with musical Indian voices would tell me their name was Brad. Of course, maybe I wouldn't be able to pronounce their real names. Which is worse, to adopt a name suitable for another language, or to hear your own name garbled in the mouth of  . . .  an alien?

Za may not be pronounced at all like I think it is.

I'm sure it's no coincidence that this alien and its pet slightly resemble me and mine. Hell, let's just quit fretting about Terran- mammalian- centricity, and call it she.

[Wait. Maybe the pet-like thing IS Za, and what I thought was Za is the pet?]

She has relatives that still need saving. Sadly, I do believe you must belong to Facebook in order to save aliens. This is what those of us with nothing more significant to do join Facebook for.

Poets are Funny

This is the last week for Poetry Thursday, and I've no idea what will come next. Maybe these will cheer you up:

Copyright Robert T. Balder

Want the punchline? Click the image. Via Land Mammal.

poetryfoundation.org has a page of poet poems; these are my favorites [click the image to go to the cartoon]:

     

   

      

Finally, it occurred to me that I might find something at gapingvoid. Sure enough, a quick look unearthed this, somewhat more pointed, cartoon:

True for me.

For you?

Made for Watermark

  This week's prompt was: take a snapshot of poetry. I did my usual snapshot poem yesterday, but I also found this:

This is just what I pictured, when I named this blog: the ephemeral nature of poetry, of writing -- of everything, actually. We work, and write, and post -- and no matter how long it lasts, that lasting is brief. We catch a moment, and it's gone in a moment.

I didn't  check the dictionary defintions before choosing, but it works even better than I had imagined:

1. a mark which is made on some types of paper during its production which can only be seen if it is held against the light;
2. a mark showing the highest or lowest level that a river or the sea reaches

Of course, I've been thinking about writing a lot lately, with NaNoWriMo pushing me to my expository limits. Yesterday, facing a blank wall, I realized I could read the next chapter of the book:

If you still don't know what your characters are doing in your book, Week Two is the point when you should panic.

Hee hee.

Just kidding.

Having a shaky, hazy, or problematic plot heading into Week Two is absolutely fine, and is a predicament common to many month-long novelists. . .

So, I feel better. Still lost, but better.

[Tuesday:  1371 words. Yesterday: 781 words. So far: 22854 words.] I know you folks must be getting bored with this, but I kept losing track -- so this is for me, not you.

Wave via The Generator Blog.

Election Day

You Are 40% Democrat

You're a bit Democrat, and probably more liberal than you realize. If you're still voting Republican, maybe it's time that you stop.

How Democrat Are You?

   

You Are 12% Republican

If you have anything in common with the Republican party, it's by sheer chance. You're a staunch liberal, and nothing is going to change that!

How Republican Are You?
   

This must mean I'm 48% something else.

No surprise there.

The Soundtrack of My Life

This playlist meme is from scribblingwoman, who says she doesn't usually post playlists, but...

. . .this music meme is a lot like found poetry. The trick is to put your music on shuffle and then take each track as it comes and fill in the following categories for the movie of your life...

So here's mine -- and I have to say, it's almost eerie:

[Added later: it seems odd to me that the meme is all about relationships -- and not at all about work. But then, I'm odd, I know...]

Fossil Stones?

You probably know that the Rolling Stones were in Missoula this week. At least one Montana blogger attended the concert; my next-door neighbor and I just sat on the deck and listened, watching the light show reflect off the cloud cover. She stuck with it the whole time; I came & went.

The other next door neighbors had a pre-concert party and then went, with their many and happy guests, off to the stadium. The morning after, I spotted this dinosaur floating above their fence. A party gift from daughter-in-law.

What could she have meant? 

Hmmm???

Just thought you'd like to know...

This site is:

by Official Web 2.0 Certifyrbeta

 

Now maybe I can go to sleep. Now that that's taken care of.

Poetry Thursday

   Today I'm just playin' around...

 

Some of these links I've posted before:

Poetry Tool.  Via Ample Sanity

My girl poet name is Amanda Blatherfroth. My boy poet name is Sir Francis De La Smarme. What's yours? Hers. His.  Also via Ample Sanity, of course.

Others are new:

Magnetic Poetry
randomly generated beat poetry
NobodyHere [dunno what to tell you -- except use your mouse liberally]
depictr

And finally, today's challenge: The Poetry Cube:

The Poetry Cube (the first of three interactive digital poetic machines) acts as a bridge for print poets to rethink/create/write their poems in a 3-D, multi-dimensional, multi-linear form. We havent yet figured out how many different combinations one 16 lines poem creates once entered into the Poetry Cube, so explore and play and tell us your thoughts on how it makes you rethink your writing.  -- Jason Nelson

And this is a challenge, to write, non-linearly. Sort of three-dimensionally. Awkwardly.

I gave it a try:

Click for larger image

Explore. You will find more successful attempts -- there are a few familiar names on that list.

Go. Write.

Street Sign Generator via Revolving Duck.

Official Watermark Seal

From Official Seal Generator via The Generator Blog

Feeling Evil?

Kill A Smiley

tag-based poems via microformats by email invite *only*

It has come to my attention that my website is not keeping up with the times. Or the Web2.0h! Or something. So I've decided to update:

Podcasts. Roll your own roll-your-own. Dynamic inline updating with yellow fades!We're about what Web 2.0 is about. We shall transcend borders. Hack it. Single. Word. Sentences! Clustering. Faster. Faster! The new is old. Label what defies categorization. MSM just doesn't get it. Splog is an aggregate noun. This is newer media. Always be launching. The words aren't what they were. Clear that. Give the users what they want. This will change everything. It's the wave of tomorrow. An AJAX-driven GUI. Cry out, blogosphere! It's all changing. You need someone who gets it. Float this. On-demand streams. 2.0! 2.0 is the new New. Feeds. The buzz is loud and clear. It's all about community. We are on the brink of a new age. Taggable folksonomies. With one click. "ASL" is geezer speak. Out of the box. News clouds. Social is the new push. [What was the question?]

Whaddya think?

[Up-To-Dating courtesy of the Web 2.0 Bullshit Generator™, via TechCrunch]

Poetry: a laughing matter?

This week's Poetry Thursday topic is humor in poetry. I went through most of my poems, and gosh -- I'm not very funny. Amusing, sometimes, maybe -- but only dry.

Even the small poems I thought, at writing, were funny -- aren't really:

sitting alone
at a table for two
    drinking lemon tea

This is as close as I can get (so far, anyway) and it's not exactly funny, but sort-of funny, and was actually inspired by a joke:

exposed

i am like the woman
speaking and listening
on the telephone
when a hot flash
comes

immersed in
conversation
she absently removes
one warm garment
then another

until she stands
in her living room
before the undraped
windows
cooled and naked

as these words
fall from me
till i stand quiet
in the breeze
of your voice.

I look forward to what others come up with. Laughter is good for me.

Timely

Cartoon from Hugh Macleod via how to save the world

I'm way behind in my blog reading, due to all my blog-tweaking -- and this is one of the first things I came across while catching up.

My CYBORG Name

This particular silliness courtesy of Self-Winding.

More Silliness

I got a bang out of this, from woot!, by shan24, tied for third prize in the contest to  Modify a classic propaganda poster (or create a new one) for one side or the other in the pro- and anti-Microsoft conflict:

Of course, I still do both, since I have some old equipment -- but I appreciate the sentiment.

What little deep thinking I'm doing these days seems to be going to poems, so this is what you can expect for the rest of this month: poem, silliness, poem, silliness -- with maybe a photo tossed in here & there.

Hello, Kitty??

From Creating Passionate Users, we have the cutting-edge, high-tech, Hello Kitty Psycho-Analysis:

Poetry Links

Ever at the cutting edge, poetry may have finally found its ideal medium, one in which money, at least, is hardly a factor: the Internet.  Poetry Off the Books |The Internet is where poetry proliferates at Publishers Weekly |by Craig Morgan Teicher -- 4/10/2006.  Via Big Window, via Cahiers de Corey

Poetry Tool.  Via Ample Sanity

My girl poet name is Amanda Blatherfroth. My boy poet name is Sir Francis De La Smarme. What's yours? Hers. His.  Also via Ample Sanity, of course.

Street Sign Generator via Revolving Duck.

A Laugh for a Rainy Day

Directly from davenetics:

The Fishing Link

According to this story scientists have found “fossils of a 375-million-year-old species of ancient fish found north of the Arctic Circle [that fills] an evolutionary gap in the transition between water and land animals.”

They still haven’t been able to find any evolutionary link between the rest of us and Kansas.

Blogger Code

Via Radio Free Blogistan:

B7 D++ T- K+ S+ F+ I++ O++ X E L+ C-- Y4 R+ W- P++ M4 N H

This questionnaire is a kick! They offer three versions of the code; this is The Bling Badge, which, as the winner of The Writer's Edge Blog Bling Award (see sidebar) is the obvious choice for me. Sadly, this one is too wide for the sidebar.

Yes, I know, if I were a real geek, I'd know how to fix that. But I'm not. I only play one on the internets.

egoSurf

Found at Sandhill Trek. Frank has way more ego points than I do. I'm quite sure that means I am more enlightened.

Don't you think?

Kaleidoscope

A new toy, via Big Window:

Click the image to go make your own. It moves, on the site. I kind of like the still one (on the left) before it moves; it's like an abstract painting.

How Cold Is It?

It's so cold, the snow people are trying to burrow underground.

This is for Ken

Make your own tartan (click for larger image):

Via Changing Places

Watermark Word Cloud

Make your own here
Via Changing Places

How Far Would You Go For A Laugh?

The best blonde joke ever.

Blocked

It's snapshot poem day. Am I writing? Am I brilliant and inspired?

No.

[This charming little gif, known as Deadline, is circulating through various newsrooms in the Bay Area. Reporter Janis Mara sent it to me, in a timely fashion.]

Stocking Stuffers

Xmas Cards - Kiffy Hello
Originally uploaded by NMCIL ortiz domney

  Just ask

FYE (For Your Enlightenment)

Via feministe, my own Religion:

New Religion Creation
'New Age Text'

From the most glorious regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Emma Goldman, bringing to you the wisdom and stone of the lost city of Venice. To usher in the New Age of cats you must heed my words and enhance spiritually. The time is soon when the space wagons of our galactic cousins will return and our collective wingedness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the wrist chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd ankle shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner antler. We must feel the inner antler, become the inner antler, curve it as though it was a spiral. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Sophia, always says 'The true form of a circle is actually a round sphere , but enlightenment is like a red chair on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no carpet or anti-carpet, only one great and omnipresent vase.

Heh. I kind of like it.

Holiday Linkage

      

Make a Snowflake
Winter Solstice Celebrations
Advent Calendar
Christmas Through the Years
Winter Solstice Websites
History of the Holidays
Santa's FBI Wanted Poster
Antique Christmas Cards
A Singular Christmas
Ancient Origins: Solstice
Your Secret Christmas Name
Playdo Christmas Games
Holiplay
Giftmixer 3000
TreeMaze Maker
Reba's Victorian Postcards
The Christmas Resistance Movement
Buy Blue for Christmas
Fred, the Christmas Iguana

Thanks to lonita; Anne; and Pen-Elayne.  This could go on and on -- perhaps I will follow Anne's lead and do a Holiday links section on the sidebar.

Amuse Me

 

Ruthlessly stolen from Via Negativa

Link Madness

This week's Carnival of the Cats is at Leslie's Omnibus; the next will be hosted here at Watermark. Send in your entries by 5:00 p.m. on Sunday.  I know that this may be a slow week due to the Thanksgiving holiday, but you have lots of time between now and Sunday to Polaroid those kitties.

A few things to entertain you in the meantime:

Via lonita's links log, we have Disclaimer stickers for science textbooks, and How To Get That Elusive P-Shift! (very, very weird)

The American Garden Museum, via the always wonderful fishbucket
and somewhat related: Stop Oppressive Gardening!

Let Them Sing It For You, via Google Blogoscoped

The Family Values Generator, via Blogywood

And finally, via Mandarin Design, Spider Art:  it generates a collage-like image based on the links from a specified URL.  Here is Watermark:

Click for larger image

Go play, and good Tuesday!

ADDED 10:00 PM:  except it's Wednesday.  Sheesh.

Monday Bits

The Why I Blog discussion continues at Terrestrial Ball, Nowhere Thoughts, IT Kitchen, and Okir.

Via Echidne of the Snakes:

Libido linked to love of chocolate

WOMEN have compared chocolate to sex for decades. Now doctors have discovered a scientific link between the two.

According to Italian researchers, women who eat chocolate regularly had the highest levels of desire, arousal and satisfaction from sex.

Apophenia is declaring ostrich, temporarily, and she is not alone.

 

Biblical Curse Generator, via Chasing Daisy

From Modulator, 10 X 10/ 100 Words and Pictures that Define the Time:

Have a good Monday!

A Glimpse of My Dark Side

I'm sorry.  I can't stop laughing.

From The Biomes Blog, via iddybud.

On the Lighter Side

For weeks now, I've been waiting for TLB to realize that I am not a Large Mammal. I'm merely a Marauding Marsupial, as I've been for months. It turns out, I really am a Large Mammal:

Bear Spirit Calls To You ~

Bear is spirit keeper of the West, the place of darkness, maturity and good harvest. Bears are active during the night and day. This symbolizes its connection with solar energy, that of strength and power, and lunar energy, that of intuition. The bear holds the teachings of introspection. When it shows up in your life pay attention to how you think, act and interact.

Bear's Wisdom Includes:

*Introspection
*Healing
*Solitude
*Change
*Communication with Spirit
*Birth and rebirth
*Transformation
*Astral travel
*Creature of dreams, shamans and mystics
*Visionaries
*Defense and revenge
*Wisdom

  Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You?
  Brought to you by Quizilla

Via kalamity

Evil Clown

The Evil Clown Generator, via MonkeyFilter

Time Wasting

Then again, instead of being a poet-pundit, perhaps I'll just while away a few hours making fantasy heroines  in absurd costumes, with their winged-cat companions.  This was done at HeroMachine, via What The Hell Am I Doing Here?

Oddities

I am feeling totally uninspired. So, a few oddities to entertain you:

NonStop Photos

     Drawing Blog
via culturekitchen


Duckomenta

       Paperclip Art

What is your favorite weird place on the web?

SpOOky

These are for David, who loves Halloween, but is easily frightened.  The original photographs (of a rather unusual garden ornament) were taken by my friend Abigail; then I played with them to make them more appropriate to the season. 

   

   

Click on the image for a larger version -- help yourselves, folks! 

Shocked and Expensive

Everything works. Every.single.page. comes up where it's supposed to.

I'm in shock.

I'm also expensive:

You are worth exactly: $1,698,280.00. We hope you can find somebody who is wealthy enough to afford you.

Human for Sale link via Sugarfused.

Monday

A little Monday diversion from lostfocus:

Scientists from the RAND Corporation have created this model to illustrate how a "home computer" could look . . . in the year 2004 . . .

This site also has an entire gallery of Orange Piggies:

    

He's rather fond of pin-ups, too.

[UPDATE: I have been informed by Sarpy Sam, who ought to know, that the "home computer" bit is bogus; this is actually a photo of "the contol panels for a nuclear power plant aboard a US submarine." And, while I'm at it -- Sam has a wonderful post today on Cowboy Wisdom, which I had on my list to tell you about -- might as well do it now. Go see.]

spongebob meets the duckies

spongebob meets the duckies 
Originally uploaded by groc.

This is sort of how these pills make me feel.

Diploma

I'm trying to decide if I find this amusing. Or not.

Feeling Frantic?

via boingboing

Slow down with How She Lived, via pomegranatesandpaper