666

There are many cheerful things I could blog about -- I have a list, including that today is GoddessDaughter's birthday -- but for some time now I've been distracted by a confluence in the news: many stories about this being 25 years since AIDS began to devastate our communities; and our Christian President's call for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

I lost my brother, Richard Julian Brogan, to AIDS in October of 1986, and his partner, Judd Polivka -- my best friend -- in 1992. Richard was one of the earliest diagnosed, in 1982; and one of the longest-lived at the time of his death.

I was with him in the New Jersey hospital, where staff who objected were permitted to not treat, nurse, or touch him; were allowed to refuse to clean his room; could decline to provide respiratory or other therapy to ease him.

I was with him in Minnesota when a fall down the stairs left him unconscious, then aphasic and confused -- and the 911 medics put on their gloves and masks, set him on a hard backed chair, and left him there with me.

I was with him in New York, where taxis would slow, then speed away at the sight of this frail, sick man; where pharmacies had lines of gaunt dying men stretching past their doors.

It was a time when science was ignored in favor of fear and hate -- like today.

To those who seek evil in this coincidence of numbers, let me tell you -- I have seen it. It is here, right here, in our own hearts. It is the willingness to follow our fear instead of our love, instead of our god-given intelligence.

It is ordinary, everyday selfishness; the willingness to put one's own brief pleasure -- that rush of sexuality, or superiority, or smugness -- above the safety and security of our neighbor, our child, this stranger.

It is in the casual cynicism of politicians who will manipulate our ignorance and fear to their advantage.

I have sat in barred rooms with men who had committed terrible acts against others, and felt less contaminated, less evil, than I have felt in public rooms where bigots, wrapped in the jewelry of religion, declaimed their hate.

How willing we were to blame the victims of this plague, to call it homosexual -- still. Even with a full third of the young and heterosexual populations of some countries infected. And now, in this civilized, western, christianist country, some are actually willing to defend institutionalizing bigotry; the amendment of our brilliant constitution to exclude a portion of our population from its rights and responsibilities. These, our own brothers and sisters; our own children.

My heart hurts.

Comments

[Stray]

I had a trying day. Your post has given me a more realistic perspective on my own trials - reminding me of how much more complex the lives of so many people are.

I'm sorry about your brother, and I'm sorry that he, and you, suffered because of ignorance and fear.

In 1986 my friend P was diagnosed HIV+. We were both ten years old. He was a hemophiliac, and was the first child in a UK school to be known to have the disease. There was media hysteria, parents refusing to bring their children to school. I sat next to him in most classes, and even when I left him 3 years later to move away, most of the other kids treated him like a leper, the teachers not much better - often worse.

My own parents can be small minded and ignorant, especially when their right-wing baptist views clashed with my sexuality, but they were steadfastly sensible on this matter. I am grateful that they didn't instill fear or paranoia in me, as so many of the other children's guardians did.

I have my friend P's email somewhere - still, as far as I know, going strong at 30, 20 years after his diagnosis. You've reminded me to look him up.

Many thanks,

Stray x

[donna]

I'm sick of the hatred spewed out by the "Christian" right. I worked at the election polls today in California, and had to put up with a bigot spewing about how we shouldn't have bilingual election materials before we told him he was electioneer ing and to take it out of our polling area. I had turned my back on him by that point and was pretending to read my poll worker instructions.

Sick of it, all of their hatefulness. Wrote the Today show earlier about their idiotic spewing of Ann Coulter on their show. I can't even turn on the TV anymore without this crap, so I don't even watch it.

Haters. That's all they are left with. Being haters.

[Kat]

I must agree that it is extremely unfortunate that there are people walking around with the "Christian" tag on yet they are full of hate. Christians, per the Bible, are called to love their neighbors, those who do not, shouldn't categorize themselves as such. I am a Christian and I believe that we have all been given free will and what we do with that is our choice and we will either be blessed or curesed becuase of that choice. People who choose to hate others because they live differently do not fully understand the grace that our loving God has to offer, they are too caught up in legalism. The truth is that God loves EVERYONE the same and His desire is that we can all come into a personal relationship with Him through His son. His desire is NOT to hate people for ANY reason... people who do have it all wrong and are in for a BIG surprise. I stumbled across your blog because the name of the church I attend is Watermark Community Church in Dallas, TX. May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Phil 1:2

[endment]

I echo your hurting - I have a question - What can we do?

[Curt Stump]

This was a very personal and moving post. I just wanted to say thank you for being brave enough to share it. What's going on with this president and his followers is indeed a hateful agenda - and I think you are correct to call it evil because it is intentional. It is so painfully obvious to many of us, and it does hurt, precisely because we see that the agenda is rooted in hate and ignorance instead of love. What can we do? Create any love we can I suppose. I know the question from endment was for you, but it could be for anyone who sees the pain. At the same time, I think there's a valid necessity in just speaking out with our stories so that others hear - so thanks for bringing attention to this.

[Ray]

My heart hurts too.
As a watcher from across the pond, I am dismayed to see how much this particular administration is doing to harm others across our world. It must hurt the American people to know that in his time in office, this particular leader has done so much to tarnish the reputation of America worldwide. And to do it in the name of God? I don't think so. Love is at the heart of God no matter which God you happen to believe in. No-one claiming to believe in a God of love could possibly consider the measures mentioned against any group of fellow human beings.
It will not happen.
It will not come to pass.
These bigots will NOT get their way.....if the American people do what they should have done at the last election and vote them OUT of office where they certainly belong.