Home Decorating Trends I Don't Get

So what do I do when I'm not writing, blogging, or reading anything that requires more than a modicum of attention?

While unwatched Charlie Rose episodes pile up on the DVR, I watch decorating and design programs on HGTV, and peruse shelter magazines passed on by a neighbor. Occasionally I get up and do a bit of closet, cupboard, and cabinet organizing in my own house. I wander through the various Apartment Therapy blogs and Flickr decor photo pools. Flickr is best, because it's mostly real houses lived in by real people -- but the fantasies are entertaining, if sometimes a bit mind-boggling.

For example:

 

Monochromatic rooms

These are usually 'neutral' -- some variety of white or beige -- but tones of any color will do. Anything that doesn't blend, clashes. So no falling in love with a mismatched painting, or chair -- no point -- you can't bring it home unless you redecorate.

Once, in a veterinarian's office, I got acquainted with the 'office cat', and the vet told me that he had that cat because a client brought it in to be put down. She'd redecorated, and the cat no longer matched the furniture. Honestly.

So what does one do if a guest arrives in a clashing outfit? Perhaps other people aren't allowed in the room?

Or, what if the book you're reading doesn't match? Oh -- maybe you wrap all your books in monochromatic covers...

Speaking of which:

 

Arranging books by color, and/or buying them in bulk as 'decorative objects'

Perhaps there are some extremely visual folks who identify/remember their books by color -- but I'm pretty visual, and I tend to think of my books by subject, or author, or category (poetry, fiction, nonfiction.) Since I try to keep only books I expect to pull from the shelf again -- poetry; books by friends; very favorite and/or yet unread novels -- I need to be able to find them. I just can't remember the last time I thought "I believe I'm in the mood for a red book today."

As for books as decorative objects -- well, it depends. I have friends who collect beautiful limited editions of books by their favorite poets. They offered to lend me some once, but I had the good sense to decline. I appreciate those books -- they are beautiful to the eye, mind, and hand -- but I read mine in the bathtub, and the garden. They get lost when they fall off of piles by the bed; they get kicked on the stairway. They accumulate in corners like dust bunnies, and they accumulate dust bunnies. They are not, eventually, the least bit decorative.

If I had the money -- and the space -- to use books as decorative objects, I'd do it by going to some favorite bookstore and buying up lots of books on my 'to read' list -- and lots of children's books -- and make my own personal browsing library. A rainbow of colors library, all mixed up visually, but organized by author and content.

That's what I'd do.

 

The aversion to ceiling fans

What is this about?

Show after show, the designer comes in and immediately -- often over the objections of the homeowner -- removes the ceiling fan. I saw a show (maybe a Trading Spaces episode?) in which they were redecorating a bedroom in Florida. The crew was sweat-soaked and gasping for breath the entire time. The homeowners said they could do what they liked, except Don't take out the ceiling fan! It was, of course, the first thing to go.

Is this lesson one in designer school? What, exactly, is the problem? Granted, there are some ugly ceiling fans, but there are beautiful ones, too -- and surely some unobjectionable ones. And they are useful; sometimes (as in a Florida bedroom) necessary. They are much preferable to air conditioning, in my opinion. But then, I like the simple ones with the schoolhouse light -- that's how trendy I am.

And yes, I have four. Livingroom, kitchen, bedroom, study.

 

'Family Rooms' with glass-topped coffee tables and white furniture

Give - me - a - break. Literally.

 

Theme rooms

OK, so this can be done well.

But it's so easy to do badly.

And even done well, I have the same problem with this as I do with monochromatic rooms -- you can't bring in anything that doesn't 'fit'.

[You've probably figured out by now that I'm an eclectic accumulator...]

 

Fake fireplaces

Huh?

I don't mean gas fireplaces -- those are 'real', or at least have real flames and heat -- and I don't mean real, but unusable for some reason, fireplaces -- which can be filled up and lit with candles -- I mean: This room needs a focal point, let's nail a fireplace mantle to the wall.

There is a better solution. Really.

 

Choosing art to match the furniture

Well, I kind of get this. It's better than not choosing art at all.

But wouldn't you rather choose furniture that matches the art you love? Or -- even better -- choosing art and furniture you love, and discovering that -- surprise! -- they go together just fine. Which they probably will, if you love them both.

 

Hotel bedrooms & spa baths

Oh! she squeals, It's just like a boutique hotel room!

We want, he announces, a bathroom like a European spa.

The bedroom. The bath.

One would think -- I think -- these are the most personal rooms in the house. Especially the bedroom. And -- news flash -- hotels and spas are designed to be as universal -- that is, as impersonal -- as possible. Comfortable and luxurious, yes; but personal -- no.

Here in the wealthy United States, the bedroom is usually a private space, which need be shared only by choice; and often, there's a 'master' bath with the same status. I would encourage everyone to take advantage of this luxury, and use it to express your own unique tastes and interests as an individual, or couple, or triad, or whatever...

Should your private space really look like one that anyone with the necessary cash could rent, by the night?

 

Home decorating trends

If you're in your twenties, during which, as I vaguely recall, fashion and style have great importance, then being 'trendy' may have some value.

But, you know all those rooms that are described as 'outdated' and stale and in need of remodeling and redecorating?

Outdated = trendy, once, long ago. So last year. Stuck in the 70's, the 80's, the what-evers. Of course, the 50's and 60's -- once considered in such bad taste -- are trendy again now.

How do houses and rooms -- and people -- become outdated? By responding too entirely to current taste, without attention to the interests and needs of the resident personalities; without responding to and reflecting individual, unique lives and perspectives.

A room that changes with the life of its residents = timeless.

 

Comments

[John B.]

D'accord, d'accord!

This was fun to read--and it's good to have a blog post from you, too, just because.

[A Designer's Eye]

This was totally hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. And, for the record, we don't get a lot of those trends either.

[Sally]

This was great, thanks! You're hilarious.

[Jane]

I agree with some of the things you said. Especially about wanting your bedroom and master bathroom to look like something you would see in a hotel. Even past that, there are so many people who are so obsessed with making the interior of the home match, it gets pretty ridiculous. As for myself, I usually get all these ideas from watching Bought & Sold on HGTV. Have you seen or heard of that show before? Because there are so many different houses that are shown, you can get ideas from it. It airs every Sunday at 10pm on HGTV. Check out http://web.hgtv.com/webhgtv/images/pac/59889/start_at_home.html?section=boughtsold,panel=videos for the preview!

[Courtney]

I read a lot of these and thought, "I KNOW! What's is up with that?" I, too, dislike air conditioning. After being cooped up all winter I want to open up the windows and let in the fresh air and sunlight, so I can't stand the idea of not having a ceiling fan. I have to admit that I tend towards the monochromatic, but I don't feel tied down to it. That is to say, I think it can be done without the obsessive component.

What I really don't understand though, is, when shows like Trading Spaces take that beautiful 'outdated' piece of antique furniture, such as a cherry sidetable or walnut chest of drawers... and paint it. Drives me insane.

[Cindy]

"Should your private space really look like one that anyone with the necessary cash could rent, by the night?"

It is amazing! This was a nice piece -- thanks for posting it.

[Mary Scriver]

Well, first of all, I'm glad to see you back. Second, I've known of the curative properties of shelter mags for a long time, but maybe I'm beginning to be cured now. I worked my way down from Architectural Digest to Cottage Living and that may be where I stay. It's pretty comfy.

To some extent, these decorators ignore the most important things. To my mind compass orientation is VERY important. Kitchens should be on the SE, bedrooms on the NW.

Also, what's outside the windows counts: big leafy tree on the south side (that's for the summer) big conifers on the north side (that's for the winter, to break the wind).

Every time I have a house with permission to paint, my front room is peach/adobe, my bedroom is pale blue, my kitchen is some kind of yellow, and I always paint one room as dark as I can get it -- where I'm typing is called "Indigene," a very dark purple. Crazy quilt for a window drape. Bright red enamel whatevers. Putty four-drawer files.

THIS time I have an all-white bathroom. I replaced the homemade sink cabinet with a pedestal sink, the rusty old tub with a corner shower, and covered the walls with paintings from my mother's bathroom which was pink. Some naked ladies and some big fat cabbage roses, just as blowzy.

I could never keep books organized by any principle whatsoever. They dance in the night, lie sideways, slide behind the sofa cushions -- I try to keep them from going home with strangers.

I have seasonal sets of drapes (well, rectangles of cloth to clip onto a pole) and pillow covers. By July everything is white canvas. By December I'm into wine-dark Roman stripes and red velvet. I've had some of these for more than forty years.

One must have cats to sit in the window. And I love your dishes. Also have a ceiling fan or the house would be unbearable in summer. For lack of insulation, it's already near-unbearable in winter. Need money to address that, but houses always need money.

Prairie Mary

[catnapping]

Warning: This is an incoherent RANT.

I think these sorts of trends show just how shallow and superficial people are getting.

Only someone who doesn't read, can even consider a book a decorator item. my GOD. I have met those people. (same goes with art...they can't possible be emotionally invested in what they've got hanging on the wall if the reason they chose it was cuz it went with the upholstery. ew.

Personally, I like monochromatic rooms (in someone else's house) I find them restful. It will never happen in my home...damn books keep coming in different colours!

And those folks who pull out the ceiling fans? They must LOVE using up energy, ey? AC uses much more kwh than fans do. Anything to help the oil barons...

~~~~

I love all-white bathrooms. Not only do I find them restful....but they are so clean looking.

okay. i got nuthin. i'm all blown out now.

[donna]

I have come to believe that most Americans have no sense of personal style whatsoever. And I have come to know that when someone walks into my living room and comments, "Wow, you have so many books!", we will not end up as friends....

[catnapping]

"did you read all these?" is another one...makes my teeth hurt.

[Anne]

Wonderful post. My particular peeve are those monochromatic rooms. Boring, snooty effects by the uninspired and unimaginative. One of my favorite rooms is a blend of turquoise, apple green, orange, yellow, and a nice dash of a pinkish red.

[Cathy]

NEW POST!NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST!NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST!NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! ;-)

[Grace Kleppin]

I found you via NaBloPoMo.

I agree with many of your astute comments. People I know are STILL replacing avocado appliances and trying to work around pink ceramic tile in the bathrooms!

The only point I'd find issue with are glass top tables in the living room. Really not that bad. One swipe with windex and you are back in business again. Plus, you can read the top issue of your current magazines in the stack below through the glass. :-)

[Eleanor Cook]

I have seen this several places and the latest Pottery Barn catalog shows this -- books shelved with the spines facing inward - who the heck does that?
Obviously people who don't read the books!

[Jan of Lamp Shades Central]

What a great list! I really believe good interior design is good functional design - what use a great looking sofa if you can't lie on it with a good book? Homes are meant to be lived in. We had a show on TV in the UK called Changing Rooms where they spent very little money turning your room into something you would never do yourself in a million years - lots of people hated their transformations mostly with cheap old MDF and paint effects. Most of these had themes but people are not themes - they are an eclectic mix of many different likes and dislikes!

[Augusta Siding]

DIY products are so nice. Doing it is one of my pastimes hobbies.