Well, here I am, up in the middle of the night, wanting to be a blogger again. It's been a tough time lately. I find myself worrying that I may not be able to continue taking care of myself; energy so scarce and erratic. I have so much -- this comforting house, this lovely garden -- my companion critters, who are fed and watered and petted, but no walks in weeks. Months, even.
It's one of those periods where I can do only one thing every few days. Even just taking a shower is exhausting. How am I to keep house, take good care of these animal friends, and write or take photos or do anything else as well?
I've lost my way.
I miss the satisfaction I used to get from this activity, from the creativity and thinking and virtual companionship it brings me. But it takes energy, too, doing this. Can I find anything useful -- hopeful -- to say?
And the long absence makes it feel overwhelming again. So many changes. TypePad has added lots of new features; there are new 'places' all over the web -- too many tools, too many 'social networks'. Things don't come naturally anymore; I've forgotten. It seems I need to begin all over, redesign, rethink. Re-Be.
I'm considering sending for Lorelle's new book, just to goose me. Reminders, inspirations. Maybe something to get me going again?
And a serious prune of the blogs I read, and the sites I've joined. There's so much, it's hard to choose. Especially when friends are scattered throughout all these places and tools and toys.
Emerging, again?
Or just overwhelmed??
Take your time. Your readers will wait.
Welcome back.
Posted by: John B. | 27 July 2007 at 04:12 AM
I don't have CFS or FM, but I have chronic rapid cycling depression (woo!), so I can empathize with the sense of being overwhelmed upon reemerging. Scary, how much things change, and how quickly when one has only been away for a short time.
I like to keep it simple. Only one or two places to write. (lately LJ for protected stuff, and my domain for non-protected stuff).
One place to 'network'. (Facebook, because my whole famdamily is on it). It helps, I think.
Posted by: Fey | 27 July 2007 at 10:21 AM
Sharon there are days where I wish I was nearby instead being in Pa. But with all these post lately, I think you are on your way back. Just take one step at time.
As for the new goodies from Typepad. Don't worry about them. If you add anything more to this site, I think you'll crash it ;-)
Posted by: Cathy | 28 July 2007 at 01:33 PM
So glad you're back!
Don't think of the worst option first -- generate at least ten others first. I'll start:
1. Hire a student to come daily for breakfast and to get you started. A guy might do as well as a gal.
2. Find a compatible live-in student or series. You're in a university town and presumably they would help you. Maybe a foreign student?
3. Look for ways to simplify. Give things away.
4. Explore better medical help -- change meds, research protocols, etc.
5. Talk to people, talk to professionals, talk on paper... One option is to generate options.
Etc.
When I was in the grip of diabetes (ac1 of 300 -- that's an AVERAGE of 300 over three months, enough to kill you -- I thought I was simply aging and didn't do anything until my retinas hemmorhaged. ALMOST but NOT too late! A year and a half later, I'm fifty pounds lighter and ten years younger. Diabetes firmly under control. Lawn getting mowed (well, sorta).
It ain't over 'till it's over.
Prairie Mary
Posted by: Mary Scriver | 29 July 2007 at 01:42 PM
PS: That's the most miserable "before" kitten I've ever seen! Those pitiful little pink toes...
If there were a blog provider who promised to stop "improving" everything all the time and just concentrate on being reliable, I'd sign up in a trice. (What's a trice? Well, PDQ!!)
Prairie Mary
Posted by: Mary Scriver | 29 July 2007 at 01:44 PM
Pain is a constant companion but I keep coming back to the Watermark, always wondering where your voice may be found and then to be surprised, the kittens, the links. I too become bogged by blogs and cease to create but keep on hoping that the day will break. Please don't give us up. Fran who remembers your work from years ago.
Posted by: Frances Sbrocchi | 30 July 2007 at 05:21 AM
Oh (re)emerging I hope. But in your own time of course. Just a few words are lovely.
Posted by: rr | 30 July 2007 at 02:08 PM
So glad to see you back, dear one. For similar reason, i recently pruned my own blogroll and participation considerably. Sometimes there's just little choice.
Posted by: Anne | 30 July 2007 at 05:55 PM
thank you all, so much! for noticing i'm back, and for letting it matter.
Posted by: SB | 30 July 2007 at 06:12 PM