Facebook: Maybe? No? Yes?

I'm in the process of reviewing my internet commitments, as I try to focus my energy on what is most helpful and rewarding, and reduce the clutter that appears every time I sign on to my 'start page' (Netvibes, at present.) I have, at one time or another, joined almost everything that's out there. Initially, this was due to my excitement about the whole new internet experience; a desire to try it all. 

Later, a bit of territoriality came into play, when I discovered that someone on MySpace was using the sbpoet handle. Yikes! [Hmmm-- she seems to be gone. Not only that, but I seem to be on there twice.] I discovered this when I tried to open an account, at the urging of Goddess Daughter, who loves it there. I became sb_poet, but I hate it there. Too much everything -- noise, flash, ads, jittery movement. MySpace is definitely not designed to become my space. Also, I just didn't get it; I couldn't figure out what it was for.

I joined Facebook some time ago, when the poetry board I sometimes posted to -- MiPoesias (MiPo's Cafe Cafe) -- moved there. I tried, but again, I just didn't get it. Couldn't really figure out how to use it; didn't see the advantages. I missed the board, but faded anyway.

I've also, over the past 3 1/2 years, joined Tribes, and Orkut, and Gather, and a few others I can't think of at the moment. Which says it all, I expect. Tried Vox, and Xanga. None of them kept my interest, though I could see that some (especially Vox) would suit a lot of people quite well.

Speaking of which, there's The Well, which is quite a different thing. I've not been there in these past few silent months, but I'd not give it up. The Well is not free; there's a monthly fee, and the level of discussion in the conferences I like requires attention and energy. It's not your typical social network. In fact, I don't think it qualifies as that; it's more a conversation network.

Flickr is the only social network that caught, and kept, me. I joined when it was still shiny-new, small enough to really feel like you got to know people. Then, photos were shared through a kind of instant-messaging function, in chat rooms. People where welcoming, helpful, and kind -- several are still at the top of myinternet friends list. The service got better and better, and it's centered on an actual shared activity and interest -- while other 'networks' seem to be about 'networking'; not a high priority for me just now. Shouldn't you be networking about something?

Of course, Facebook, from the beginning, was about something -- it was for students, who already shared a campus, to play together -- in private. Now it's open for non-students to join, but it has kept its privacy features. You can set your profile to be more, or less, visible, according to relationship. I think this function could be better, but more about that later.

So when E. (probably Niece is the closest to describing this relationship) told me she is on Facebook, and then Goddess Daughter (M.) joined, too -- I went back. The service itself has changed -- lots of new features. And now I get it. I sign on, and there they are. I can write on their walls, I can send them private messages -- or instant messages, if they are online, too. Now I get the difference between a discussion board and a wall, so I can post to MiPoesis again. And some of those poets might be willing to be my friend, and share pokes and gifts and notes and twitters.

I can have LastFM and Pandora at the same place. I can pull in my flickr photos, and posts from here -- this one will show up there soon. With a little app called Blog Friends, I can see the headlines from my Facebook friends' blogs. There are hundreds -- probably thousands -- of Facebook apps. Play, play, play.

So I've spent much of the past week settling into Facebook; then I find this:

. . . What was particularly sad about this weekend's lovefest, though, is that the subject was about Facebook but didn't reflect the real story that was going around: the bias and bigotry in Facebook against older people.

I didn't last on Facebook enough to see it's ugly face. I found out about such through Ronnie Bennett, odd time signature, and Freydblog. What they found was an undercurrent of hatred against older people, manifested in groups like the following . . .

These posts -- which identify 50 hate groups on Facebook -- not racist, or sexist, but ageist to the extreme -- are distressing, and persuasive. Facebook appears to be tolerating this. Can I participate in a service that not only hosts, but apparently condones by inaction, attitudes that  are not only offensive to me, but personally threatening?

Well, maybe. I've spent my life in a world full of hate, some of it directed at me. Female. Fat. Too damn smart. Loves the wrong people -- wrong race, wrong sexual orientation, just wrong. Are there places -- are there services -- safe from this infection?

I doubt it.

Then there's this (requires flash) sent to me by an internet friend who probably would wish to remain anonymous. This presents serious concerns about privacy, data mining, copyright, and connections to conservative funding. Of course, I can't vouch for its accuracy, but it's worrying.

So what am I going to do?

I'm not sure yet. In life, I can choose to avoid as much as possible (the opposite of my earlier strategy) settings that distress me. On Facebook, I can avoid the groups that offend me, and report those I come across. Will an elder boycott of Facebook accomplish -- anything? 

So, on one side, potential pleasure -- even soul-food -- of regular, easy contact with some of those I love, and some I like; and participation in a poetry group that I respect. On the other, consistency with my principles.

I usually opt for principle.

I'm not so sure this time.

Comments

[loren]

That's certainly a very scary video, though I don't have the background to evaluate how accurate it really is.

As an ex-high-school teacher I was certainly aware of the students who resented older people, some probably for good reason, but I suspect it's really a very small minority, who probably hate most people, not just old people.

In my last year teaching I definitely felt old but had more fun with the kids then I had in years. They seemed to hate seeing me go.

[Karoli]

Like you, Flickr is the only community that has me "sticky". Even if Facebook was better about policing their site and fairly enforcing their own terms and conditions, I can't say that I'd stay sticky to it, mostly because it's a closed system -- stuff goes in and doesn't get out.

Plus, I'm not thrilled with their claim to own the rights to anything that goes in.

For me the jury is still way out on Facebook, given that there's been no acknowledgment whatsoever that there is even a problem with hate speech on the site.

[Michael]

I find it hard to get too worked up about the supposed "elder hate groups" on Facebook. Going by the list in Freydblog, they essentially all seem to have a tiny number of members (about 25 seems to to be the average) and their content seems to be basically crude jokes. Remember that Facebook has 30 million members (per Wikipedia), so I don't really feel threatened by pathetically tiny handfuls of people with an unfunny sense of humor.

Of all the "pure" social networks I've joined, Facebook and LinkedIn seem to be the best. (I do spend much more time on the Well and Flickr, but don't consider them the same type of thing.) Orkut, Friendster, and Tribe do not seem to have a lot of interesting applications or things to do.

[Cathy]

I would just ignore them. They too will become old farts and grouchy old ladies, with the younger generation complaining about them too.

[Cat Curious]

I share your mixed feelings about MySpace and, to some extent, about Facebook. I actually think you should check out Care2, which has become my favorite community to be part of, online at least.

It's not like the other online networks. The Care2 people are nice, and it seems like they are in their 30's and 40's. It's full of groups, causes, and other actions you can take to make a better world. They have videos and user-selected news (Care2 News Network) sort of like Digg. Make sure to check out the Daily Actions and the Click-to-Donate races. They give you easy ways to make a difference, and you get credit for it on your profile page so you can keep track of your impact. And then you can sign up for e-alerts about children's issues, women's issues, etc. I'm signed up for two of them -- Environmental Issues and Animals Issues -- and they're always sending me ways to get involved, sign petitions, write letters to the editor, etc. Lots of free electronic greeting cards, too. Anyway, you get the picture. Check out www.care2.com and give it a try, I think you'll like it. Good luck.

[SB]

After much thought, I've decided to stick with Facebook -- at least for the time being. So, of course, I'd like it if more of my friends joined.

But we'll see how things go in the future. The Web changes so fast, who knows what's next?

But what will keep me at FB is having those I love there, so as long as they stay, I'm likely to as well.

& I agree, Cathy -- ageism is the bigotry karma won't forgive.