snapshot poem 14 november 02007

  The prompt this week is Places.

this room
this cozy domestic room
modeled on the victorian
modeled on the english

with its comfort and its ornament
its signs and sighs of lives &
loves in other lands
the green and yellow paintings

the landscapes the portraits
the blue and white china
the red country toile
bone and silver and ivory

under glass with tattered books
books open on their bellies
backs broken and worn in
worn out

the garden with its curves
with its rocky beds
sleeping now waiting
for winter with its cold wind

this room its french loveseat
its fringed cushions its cats
its lap dogs the round fish bowl
awaiting a new fish a black

goldfish perhaps a moore
appropriately victorian
appropriately modest &
flamboyant at once this room

with its bentwood boxes
memorabilia of another
people the people smothered
slowly murdered by blankets

and all this domesticity this
room with its old woman
its modern conveniences
its four white walls

 

Comments

[PetMono]

i like the concept of writing about "places" and i can picture and feel this venue in this poem.

most poems about spaces are of the victorian, traditional, lacy, artifact filled variety. no mention of smell or sounds, simply pure and accurate visual cues here. when in spaces like this i do pick up things other than visual, but i don't know why.

i love visual spaces that are minimal. take away this, take away that and then notice what is left. is there any humanity left when you take away this, take away that?

[...deb]

Wonderful layering of details and then the murder by "all this domesticity this/
room with its old woman". Powerful view of a vistorian room turned modern.

[paisley]

it sounds just like my spartan room,, when seen thru my own minds eye..... very lovely

[Rethabile]

Enjoyed the read. Nice imagery.

[pauline]

books on their bellies, sighs and signs of other lives - such delicious detail!

[Rachel]

I like the way the poem itself mimics the closeness of the room it describes, and the ending is deliciously chilling.

[wendy]

like an intimate conversation with a friend.

[Tumblewords]

Great place! Haunting thoughts.

[Linda Jacobs]

Love all the specific details! ~Linda