This Is Not Paradise Junction

Here in the North
we turn toward deeper
darkness. Tonight's thin moon

hides itself in clouds
withholding snow. Our stars
are curtained. No light falls

on my skin. It does not
touch me. I cannot
feel it. I lie alone

on this high, hard bed.
Night follows night.
I watch for the moon

out these frosted windows,
listen to the silence
of winter. Trains pass by,

their rattling wheels, their
mournful call, taking someone
somewhere. Where are you?

Do you see this moon
in your strange sky?
Can you name the stars?

 

  This week's prompt was a road sign:

THIS IS NOT
STATE ROUTE 95

Comments

[susan]

Beautiful. Llove your line breaks. Iis it odd to compliment how a poet breaks the line? I don't think so. Learning how takes practice. I'll be back to read more. Thanks for the read.

[Leya Evelyn]

A beautiful poem. Feels very familiar, comforting.

[SB]

Thank you, both. And Susan, no, I don't think it's weird. I think that line breaks are one of the most critical parts of a poem.

I learned a lot from Pattianne Rogers about line breaks. She believes that lines should end with strong words, and that resonance from the end word on one line to the end word on the next is a nice bonus when you can get it.

[Crafty Green Poet]

I agree about the line breaks, too few poets remember how important they are and you use them to great effect here

[Jo]

Beautiful work, it made it into my heart.

[...deb]

I read this yesterday and wanted to let it sit. Such a moody poem to compliment the shorter days (it suprises me every year) and a waning moon.

It is perfectly lonely. And I love the last line.

[paisley]

very beautiful.. i do not like the cold.. but you made it sound lovely.....

[Tumblewords]

The dark and cold loneliness is beautifully written. I can hear the train whistle which has always been a mournful cry for me. Very nice!

[Rethabile]

The moon, the frosted windows, it all comes together nicely.

[Dick]

A fine evocation of circumstances bleak & solitary, Sharon.

[Linda Jacobs]

Wonderful writing. It puts me right in the poem!

[Rob Kistner]

Excellent piece!

[Rachel Barenblat]

I really like "Here in the North/ we turn toward deeper / darkness." And the three questions at the very end of the poem take my breath away.

[Mad Kane]

Lovely and evocative!

[Mason]

its a perfect decription of what it looks like at night in my small town. beatuifully put