Ephemeral Sonnet

We write on water, we poets. Most of
us. Some write on sand, brief calligraphy
for seagulls, shore-birds and the slow inev-
itable tide. A few write to stain the sea,

so intense, the color of their ink salts
the words of their inheritors years
beyond their own decline. It's not their fault
that rules and ideologies emerge

poem by innocent poem. Some writers
strive to obscure the mysterious; some try
to reveal the obvious. Some are rhymers;
some are not. Some leap at the chance to fly.

In hopes they will endure, some write their odes
on stone. Stone is hard. But even stone erodes.

 

RWP offered two poems -- a sonnet and a free verse. The prompt was to pick the style that appeals least to you and write in that manner about the same theme: the transity of human efforts.

This week's prompt was to write a sonnet.

I know, it doesn't scan. I'm open to suggestions.

Comments

[Christine]

You write about our words, and how ephemeral they are, just like our lives, but you write so fluidly that it seems like the words will last forever. Beautiful!

[Tumblewords]

I thought it was lovely. No suggestions.

[Alan Bender]

There is nothing so illusive as a thought however temporary. Sweet on the tongue.

[gautami tripathy]

it scans...

[Jo]

Yes, lovely ideas beautifully put.

[paisley]

you know,, i didn't use my entry to read write poem on this,, but what i did use,, is probably what i should have entered on read write poem... as i was way outside my comfort zone on this one!!!!

[Sweet Talking Guy]

Yeah, well written, I try to write on hearts and touch souls but most of it goes down the plug-hole in the wash on shirt sleeves.

[SB]

I'm glad y'all liked it, though it certainly doesn't scan in Montana English! I used to have a British roommate to read my poems back to me, so I could hear them in another -- language, so to speak...

I really was trying for the form, including iambic metre -- but perhaps what I must do is just change the title, since it seems to work as a poem, even if not (strictly speaking) as a sonnet.

[Linda Jacobs]

Isn't the idea of poetry to break some rules and be unique? I say keep sonnet in the title. I really love it! You described the different aspects of poem writers so beautifully! Love the first line!

[Tiel Aisha Ansari]

It's a good poem. Is it a sonnet? Honestly that depends on whom you're asking.

If you were going to try to get this published, I would say, scan through a few issues of the journal you're submitting it to and see if they accept unmetered/irregularly metered sonnets. Many do.

Rather than mess around with meter, I think I'd work on bringing the second and third stanza up to the level of the first... you have strong imagery there.

[SB]

Thank you -- I think you're right. The first stanza seems much tighter to me.

Since I don't try to publish (it takes all my energy just to write) I needn't worry about that, and can concentrate just on making a better poem.

[annieelf]

To go from a water tablet to a stone tablet in 14 lines - I'm truly impressed. I found myself leaning into the screen, so drawn in was I by the words.