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21 January 2008


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You write about our words, and how ephemeral they are, just like our lives, but you write so fluidly that it seems like the words will last forever. Beautiful!


I thought it was lovely. No suggestions.

Alan Bender

There is nothing so illusive as a thought however temporary. Sweet on the tongue.

gautami tripathy

it scans...


Yes, lovely ideas beautifully put.


you know,, i didn't use my entry to read write poem on this,, but what i did use,, is probably what i should have entered on read write poem... as i was way outside my comfort zone on this one!!!!

Sweet Talking Guy

Yeah, well written, I try to write on hearts and touch souls but most of it goes down the plug-hole in the wash on shirt sleeves.


I'm glad y'all liked it, though it certainly doesn't scan in Montana English! I used to have a British roommate to read my poems back to me, so I could hear them in another -- language, so to speak...

I really was trying for the form, including iambic metre -- but perhaps what I must do is just change the title, since it seems to work as a poem, even if not (strictly speaking) as a sonnet.

Linda Jacobs

Isn't the idea of poetry to break some rules and be unique? I say keep sonnet in the title. I really love it! You described the different aspects of poem writers so beautifully! Love the first line!

Tiel Aisha Ansari

It's a good poem. Is it a sonnet? Honestly that depends on whom you're asking.

If you were going to try to get this published, I would say, scan through a few issues of the journal you're submitting it to and see if they accept unmetered/irregularly metered sonnets. Many do.

Rather than mess around with meter, I think I'd work on bringing the second and third stanza up to the level of the first... you have strong imagery there.


Thank you -- I think you're right. The first stanza seems much tighter to me.

Since I don't try to publish (it takes all my energy just to write) I needn't worry about that, and can concentrate just on making a better poem.


To go from a water tablet to a stone tablet in 14 lines - I'm truly impressed. I found myself leaning into the screen, so drawn in was I by the words.

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