12 March 02008 - Snapshot Poem

Richard

A chilly overcast day. One day
unfolds into the next. My brother
visits my dreams, one night folding
into the next. I think of his long bones,
the long bones of his fingers, shards
in the ashes. I think of his passion
for opera, the depth of his voice,
his mind folding one day into

the next. Sparrows calling from
the garden, scandal in the news,
mournful music on the radio. How
he loved Mozart, opera, Sondheim;
how his long legs loped through
the streets of Manhattan; how
that hole inside him could never
be filled; how he looms

in my dreams, tall and alive;
the inconsequence of our
conversation, the dead to the living,
the living to the dead, not noticing
how one folds into the other, folding
together, dream into dream, brother
into sister. How we light each other's
smokes. How light we are, how thin.

       

Comments

[paisley]

oh that was stellar... it was so well interwoven,, the dead and the living,, the dark and the light... i could see it like swirling smoke in a calm room.. this was wonderful......

[niki]

Beautiful poem. I think you are lucky that your brother visits you in your dreams.

[gautami tripathy]

Beautiful snapshot! Dream and reality merges at some point. So surreal.

mindplay

[Crafty Green Poet]

Beautiful, I love the way this flows and the blending of dream and reality, living and dead

[AnthonyNorth]

Alchemy as poetry. All those opposites.
Wonderful.

[Tumblewords]

Like origami, the words fold into deep visions. Magical, mystical and poignant.

[Lisa]

A beautiful poem and lovely tribute to your brother. I like how you brought him alive, he really moves within those lines.

[mary]

My poem too was about life/death and grief. I agree with paisley, that the poem was interwoven well. I love the imagery of smoke at the end too.

[Sweet Talking Guy]

He will stay alive in your thoughts, as long as you think of him. Lovely poem!

[Pauline]

Beautifully done - the repetition of certain words and phrases is most effective

[Gemma]

O how "fold" becomes an ominous, insidious siren in your surreal world.

Quite a sc-fi piece!

[Linda Jacobs]

Like a braid, your words flow over and around and under pulling a ribbon of emotion with them. Loved it!

[seb]

this one gives me a strange feeling ... the recurrence of some lines and the many opposites give the poem something suspended, as if it's travelling back and forth somewhere in between two worlds ... like a dream:-) Very powerful.

[gautami tripathy]

Intertwined images. Thats how I see this!

numbing nirvana