April - May - June 02009

2009-06-10

the lives of thousands rest on his shoulders
the enemy is vile and wily

he is strong enough to carry this weight
he is strong enough to meet this enemy

he is strong, he is brave
he is willing to die for what is right

these people, if you can call them that
care for nothing, value nothing

they do not respect life as we do
they do not treasure family and god

he must be strong, he must be brave
he must be willing to die for what is right

he has prepared for this moment
for this, he was born

for this, he worked to become strong
for this, he is brave, for this

he is strong enough to save
his own kind, he is strong, he is brave

the enemy is vile, and wily, but weak
weak, they are tatters at the edge

of our genetic fabric, they must be cut
out, such contamination must be

cleansed lest it ... no, he will not think
of it, he is strong, he is willing to die

he is willing to kill, he is willing to die
for this, for right, for strength, for god

  

Comments

[gautami tripathy]

Faith...

dance baby, dance

[Nicole Nicholson]

Hrm....I'm intrigued by what I read, but I do find it a little hard to connect with your speaker. Why was he born for this? Who are they? Who is the enemy? It's hard for me to get a clear picture. But I do think the piece has potential, and I do like how you string the idea out between stanzas, as if a stream-of-consciousness thing, like we're watching someone think.

[Mark S.]

I'm with Nicole. Intrigued, but a bit confused. I like it, it has a wonderful flow and sounds like me when I talk to myself...sometimes.

Interesting thoughts in your poem.

[angie]

maybe it's just me--but I'm thinking Dr. George Tiller?
I like the way the poem flows, and the way you leave things open to interpretation.

Your blog is beautiful!

;)

[Rachel Barenblat]

I think my favorite couplet here is

the enemy is vile, and wily, but weak
weak, they are tatters at the edge

-- I like the assonances of "vile" and "wily," the repetition of "weak<' and that image "tatters at the edge" (even though I realize I just cut this couplet away from its enjambment -- I like it even on its own.)

[Laura]

Thank you for this poem. My take is that this is about James von Brunn.

[Tumblewords]

The depth of this works so well with the question - surely there are many this could/would fit...life is about carrying the weight in the best possible way. Nice work!

[sbpoet]

I'm so pleased you find Watermark beautiful -- I just recently did a major redesign, and beautiful is what I want.

I was thinking about the several domestic terrorists who have acted in the past few weeks, and how they convince themselves that they have the right to murder 'the other' --

I *don't* think we have the right to murder, so it was a challenge to evoke that mindset, and I don't know that I've done it. But a part of it, maybe.

[sbpoet]

Thank you, Rachel, for this attention to the craft.

[sbpoet]

Yes, him, too...

[sbpoet]

I'll have to give this some thought. I was trying, in my way, to demonstrate that it does not matter who the enemy is -- that to a mind like this, all that matters is that he *have* an enemy -- that the assassins who think they have entirely different values and goals are, in fact, all the same.

[Linda Jacobs]

I like the control I sense in this poem. You are disgusted with these people but you don't let yourself stoop to their level. Well done!

[Deb]

Unfortunately there are so many specific horrors that could be said to speak to the speaker. But what I thought of was the murder of the abortion doctor.

The vagueness works, unfortunately too well, not due to the poet's voice but the world we live in.

[Deb]

Now that I've read the previous comments and your replies I see that I "got it." Not that I am all that smart, but because the poem works as it does.

[sbpoet]

Thanks, Deb -- good to know.