1
I did go out that summer day
with an old lover, into the mountains.
We had a meal by the river, then
lay together and made love
on the scratchy blanket.
2
Peonies make me think of you,
how they open, and open, unfolding
petal after petal, so lush, so brazen;
how we chased each other, room
to room, naked and ecstatic.
3
If you had asked, I would have
gone with you. I would have
left all rules behind, followed you,
led the way into that unknown
wilderness, that anarchy of desire.
This week's prompt was what i could never tell my mother. I changed it just a bit.
I like the wild desire contained in this..the yearning..
Mine is so mundane compared to this:
stuff I never told you
Posted by: gautami tripathy | 25 June 2009 at 12:14 AM
Interesting piece. It had me wondering if the listener had changed between the first two stanzas. Love the vivid descriptions :)
Posted by: Sam | 25 June 2009 at 12:58 AM
Sharon, I really did like this poem. A frolic "into that unknown wilderness, that anarchy of desire." That is one powerful statement. I have always enjoyed anarchy! Desire is such a personal and powerful emotion, maybe one of the most driven. This is a wonderful piece.
Posted by: Donald Harbour | 25 June 2009 at 07:05 AM
Very cool and enchanting.
One narrator, different settings. I like this a lot.
Posted by: Mark's Notebook | 25 June 2009 at 08:02 AM
Very astute! This began with each stanza speaking to a different lover.
Posted by: sbpoet | 25 June 2009 at 10:37 AM
I must confess that recent developments in the political arena helped inspire this poem.
Posted by: sbpoet | 25 June 2009 at 10:38 AM
this was a refreshing piece, on of the only other "rebellion" poems towards mother that i have read today, the other being mine. broken into beautiful stanzas that put me beside the river and torn between parental respect and a lover's lust. -lawrence
Posted by: Lawrence Gladeview | 25 June 2009 at 02:27 PM
I like the structure so much. Brief glimpses and details keep it from being overly sentimental. If I were to pick a favorite, it must be the 2nd. Peonies = ecstatic.
Posted by: Deb | 25 June 2009 at 07:18 PM
Love the image of the scratchy blanket!
Posted by: Andy | 26 June 2009 at 05:10 AM
To me this has a feel of the Chinese poets about it. Perhaps it is the accompanying image, and also the beautiful selection of minimal detail. So much accomplished in a few words.
Posted by: Catherine | 26 June 2009 at 05:31 PM
I love how these pieces work together. I would love to see more of them.
Posted by: Dana | 27 June 2009 at 08:29 PM
Like walking through a gallery of vivid scenes -- wonderful.
Posted by: Nathan | 29 June 2009 at 02:31 PM
Beautiful poem. The "anarchy of desire" is powerful, and the peonies stanza is so sensual and full of looking back/yearning.
Posted by: Erin | 30 June 2009 at 10:49 PM
I do like the Chinese poets, but was not conscious of their influence when I wrote this.
Posted by: sbpoet | 01 July 2009 at 07:02 PM
Thanks, Dana -- more stanza of this poem, or more poems like this? And if door number two, like this how?
Posted by: sbpoet | 01 July 2009 at 07:03 PM
Thank you all for your comments!
Posted by: sbpoet | 01 July 2009 at 07:03 PM