we pass through the darkening
so resistant, so remote
white sky, white ground, white paper
ice daggers hang from the eves
branches sketch indecipherable glyphs
across a pale sky
thin china cups
gather light in their bowls
behind glass cabinet doors
afloat in deep winter
cold days, white days,
lengthening days
gripping the handle of time
it slices at an angle
that dangerous blade
& Cairo burns
This week's prompt was to use one, or a few, or all of the above Wordle words in a poem. I printed it out to keep with me and think about. Then I doodled, and the doodle morphed into some kind of creature.
I think I like the doodle better than the poem. It's less mysterious.
Critiques welcome.
Your last line came as a shock, though it shouldn't have done given the news saturation. This line brings a lightening of the spirit: "lengthening days"
Posted by: vivienne Blake | 04 February 2011 at 12:47 AM
I love what you've done with the prompt! lovely imagery ice daggers and the branches indecipherable glyphs. Also the cold wintry theme and then the shock of Cairo burning at the end.
Posted by: Kate Fern | 04 February 2011 at 06:02 AM
I agree that the poem lulls us into a silenced natural world of winter and then wakes us up with the last line.
Posted by: Donna Vorreyer | 04 February 2011 at 09:25 AM
The poem does a wonderful job of evoking the cold and ice of winter.
Posted by: Linda | 04 February 2011 at 11:15 AM
Beautiful imagery! I love the mtsterious aura you have presented here.
Posted by: Laurie Kolp | 04 February 2011 at 01:32 PM
Oh, and it does. Superb work.
Posted by: Tumblewords | 04 February 2011 at 04:43 PM
Love the sharp edge on this poem. You were brilliant with the last line.
Wrote the list of words down. Let's see what I can come up.
Posted by: Cathy | 04 February 2011 at 07:46 PM
All that white and ice and cold. Then Cairo burning. Wow.
Posted by: Robin | 04 February 2011 at 11:06 PM
I very much like the winter images.
Posted by: barbara | 05 February 2011 at 12:24 AM
This week is special I think. Everyone seems to rise up this week. You are superb and I especially like how you added your doodle. That's my kind of art too, and years ago I got serious about it for a season.
Your poem holds throughout. But don't expect too much serious critique here. It's a social site.
Yes, Cairo burns.
Posted by: Christopher | 05 February 2011 at 06:28 AM
I like the mystery. And the shock.
Posted by: Deb | 05 February 2011 at 03:34 PM
Clear word-painting of the present moment. You have many breath-taking images in here--and then the denouement!
http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/life-plus-5-big-tent-poetry/
Posted by: Victoria | 05 February 2011 at 04:26 PM