sleep in grief
wake in grief
grief at the doorstep
sleep in grief
wake in grief
grief at the doorstep
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each day slips away
fish in deep water
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Tuesday we woke
to high lines
of snow along
the birch limbs
out our bedroom
window.
Two days later
snow has congealed
to slush balls
that fall
to the ground
with thuds.
Frost shadows
rest across grass
and asphalt. Sky
changes mood
from fog
to blue.
They are counting
votes again
in Arizona.
They will
count again
elsewhere.
The country’s
mood changes
from slush
to thud
to fog
to blue.
This is a day I did not want.
This is a day that does not keep its promise.
Today is a day of disappointment
and fear. There is blue in the sky,
but it’s pale and diffuse. I watch
my neighbors from the corners of my eyes.
This is not a valley prone to earthquakes,
but I feel unsteady anyway.
Why do I live here? Do I know you? Snow
is coming. I fear we will be buried.
~sharon brogan
this morning
there is still snow
after a day of thaw
and a night of freeze
snow crusted with ice
the dowitcher
with the broken wing
in a cage
in the basement
still lives
but the cat has not
given up
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COVID-19
This morning I went to the clinic for the laying-on of hands.
Snow and brittle ice still rest in shadowed places. Squirrels
argue or court in the spruce trees. We hold hands, my love
and I, as we walk the river trail, wind groping our winter jackets.
Another couple passes, faces masked with scarves. Our dog
is happy, unconcerned, sniffing all the scents and contaminants
in every bush and stone along our way. The sky stays flat and high,
where it belongs. There are no humans playing in the park,
no other dogs, this cold afternoon. The news, grim and gray
as the day, follows us outside, dogs our footsteps in an unfriendly
way. We, of the threatened demographic, walk carefully in our aged
bodies, breathing this vulnerable air.
sharon brogan
march 02020
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Super Tuesday
I stand before the judge
debt collector to my left
what is owed must be paid
behind us, all the children
(shades dark to light)
behind them, the parents
then the wooden pallets
then the metal fence
tornadoes come
the chain links vibrate
with an electric hum
the pallets fall to dust
the winds lift buildings
and automobiles, drop
them to the ground
like coins dozens
(humans) missing
or dead (no one counts
the others) hundreds
more (black & brown)
stand in lines for hours
to cast their votes
(do they count?)
markets plummet
officials reassure us
only the already-ill,
old, disabled, will die
& too few of them
in the larger picture
old, already-ill, I climb
to my bed and dream
I stand before the judge
sharon brogan
march 02020
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I sleep through the thunderstorm, the full
moon, the fireworks, the earthquake.
In the morning, I move through this dim house,
shutters closed against the heat, straightening
pictures and nudging things back to where
I decide they belong. Cats weave between
my feet. All is in disarray, surfaces cluttered
with paper and old mail. My hair falls in my eyes.
I cannot see. My heart, recently opened, whispers
and moans. It keeps happening, this sleeping, this
waking, these futile attempts to put things in order.
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What once would bend, now
refuses. Knees complain
of damp weather.
My fingers mark the crows’
feet at the corners
of your eyes.
It’s only endorphins,
synapses sparking
in the brain.
This heart, cracked by time
and grieving, has split
thin & dry as kindling.
That match
too close.
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You leave and then
it rains and rains.
Flood warnings
for Ovando, Seeley
Garnet, Greenough,
Clearwater. The garden
glistens, glitter on lilac
leaves in shafts of sun.
I sit alone on the wooden
bench, hood up, smoking,
listening to rain, percussive
on the furnace pipe. This old
body hums. My knee aches
and I try to remember where
I put the cane. I remind myself:
weather changes. This land
will be dry again. There will
be drought.
Come back.
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